3 Pieces of Life Advice That Will Save You a Lot of Struggle

Some struggles in life are worth it: they teach you something you couldn’t have learned any other way. And then there are the ones that teach you nothing at all. They just hurt.

These three pieces of advice are about avoiding the second kind.

1. Stop trying to be someone you’re not

There’s a mould society calls “cool”, and most of us spend years trying to squeeze into it. There was a song on the radio when I was growing up: “I wish that I could be like the cool kids, ’cause all the cool kids, they seem to fit in.” That’s the programming.

Here’s what we miss: the people we see as cool aren’t trying to fit a mould. They’re just being themselves. They’re actually all quite different from each other. What they share is that they’re authentic, and that’s what people respect.

You can build a false image of yourself, and it might even work for a while. But it leaves you empty, because you’re not being true to yourself. And when people finally meet the real you, they realise you’re not who you said you were.

When you’re simply who you are, people know what you stand for. “That’s just who he is.” “That’s always been her attitude.” And they accept and respect it, because there’s nothing to see through.

2. Stop trying to fit in where you don’t belong

This one sounds similar, but it’s about people, not image. Some circles will never be happy to have you. Some people don’t want to see you win, and if they’re the ones you keep trying to impress, you’ll be stumbling over their obstacles for as long as you stay.

The rule: go where you’re celebrated, not where you’re tolerated.

Think of it as their party. If you don’t fit in at their party, they won’t cancel it for you. You’re the one who has to step back. But you can throw your own, where the people who appreciate you show up. Not everyone belongs everywhere, and that’s not a tragedy. It’s how a healthy society works: different tribes, coexisting, without forcing their way into each other’s circles.

You’ll feel the difference after every hangout. In the wrong circle you come home drained, replaying things they said. In the right one you come home lifted, like your soul just got fed.

3. Keep your private life private

The third one might be the one that saves you the most pain. In the video I explain why oversharing hands people the exact spot to hit you, why not everyone needs to know you’re in Bali right now, and how staying low-key means the people who aren’t on your side end up shooting blanks.