5 Ways to Make People Love You More and Build Meaningful Connections

We all want to be loved, yet sometimes the people around us don’t seem to give us the love we’re looking for. Is it us, or do we keep meeting the wrong people? Sometimes it’s both. But most of the time, something we do creates resistance. Here are five ways to change that.

1. Be friendly to everyone

Everyone you meet is going through something: good, bad or ugly. A friendly attitude can turn someone’s ugly moment into a memory worth smiling about, from a nightmare of a day to a fairy tale. You can also make it worse, and lose a potential friendship. Why would you, when you can make someone’s day?

2. Give without expecting anything back

It doesn’t have to be material: support, thanks, love. When you lift a weight off someone’s shoulders, you open a door to a real relationship. And maybe one day you’ll turn around and find them holding a gift that changes your life. Don’t expect it; just give what you have plenty of. You never know who you’re helping.

3. Respect people with all you have

Whether you met them in the street, at school or online, everyone wants respect. By the law of exchange, you receive what you give: respect me and I’ll respect you more; lend me a hand and both of mine will be there when you fall. Bully or humiliate people, and you’ll have nobody to rely on when you’re struggling.

4. Listen to what they have to say

When one person dominates every conversation, the others start to resist them, or quietly replace them with someone who listens. Let people speak, show genuine interest, ask questions. When they feel understood, they open up, sometimes even become vulnerable, because they feel safe with you.

5. Lift them up

People love whoever makes them feel good about themselves. A compliment, a warm smile, a tight hug: they owe that feeling to you. Do it often, and once real emotions are involved, that relationship doesn’t just fade away.