Watch Out for This Manipulation Technique: Playing the Victim

There’s a common manipulation technique people use to get you to do what they want: playing the victim.

How it works

The manipulator complains and acts as if they’re in great pain, so you see them as the victim. Now you’re expected to do what they ask, and if you don’t, you’re guilty of not caring about them. They turn toxic, and you feel every bit of their negative energy. By taking the role of the victim, they’ve taken a position of power.

They look so innocent: puppy face, puppy eyes. And inside, a little devil is celebrating: “We got them. Now they have to do what we want.”

You have a choice

Most people believe they don’t. You do. I’ve been in this exact situation, and I stood up:

“No. I’m not playing your game. I have my own pain and my own struggles too. Just because I don’t complain all the time doesn’t mean I don’t go through hard times. I deal with mine myself, so that when I see you, I can be calm again. You’re using your struggle to put yourself in charge.”

Speak your truth

When you open up and say how you really feel, they usually have nothing to answer. They may argue, but nothing they say holds weight anymore, because you’ve spoken your own mind, and they’re left with no real power over you.