Self-Love Is Not Narcissism: I’m Too Busy Loving Myself to Hate You

We live in a world that has confused self-love with narcissism. Spend time on yourself, admire yourself in the mirror, think you look amazing, and someone will call you a narcissist.

Very often, it’s people who don’t feel good enough about themselves, looking at someone who learned to love themselves, imperfections and all, and hating on them instead of realising they could do the same.

I do it for me, not for you

I invest quality time in myself to feel better about myself: to stand in front of the mirror and say, “Look what I’ve become.” Not to impress anyone else.

Back when I didn’t care how I looked, I didn’t care how I felt either. I was miserable almost every day and avoided mirrors. Taking care of how I look became part of taking care of how I feel.

Don’t let anyone lower your worth

People will try. “Yeah, it’s nice, but not quite there.” “It doesn’t meet the standard.” That’s their opinion, and they haven’t lived through what you’ve lived through.

As a teenager I stopped creating because someone told me, “Don’t put this out, people will laugh at you.” If I’d known not to listen, I would have kept creating and become much more advanced, much sooner. I had to go to hell and back to understand that.

Sometimes people do it unconsciously, sometimes out of jealousy. Either way it has nothing to do with you. They’ve made you the star of their show by judging it. Run your own show.

And if you’re the one judging

Judging others usually comes from being unsatisfied with yourself. Let it go and put that energy into your own growth: exercise, eat well, take care of yourself. Do that long enough, and one day someone will call you a narcissist.